Pants 0. Shit 1.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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