i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
