it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
