sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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