The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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