i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
