who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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