Kiss
Puke
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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