No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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