remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
