wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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