dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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