Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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