I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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