no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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