after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
