Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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