Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
