the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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