So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
