she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
