So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
