More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she smelled like a LAN party
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
