420 ftw
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
