I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
