i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
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I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
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The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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