Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
