...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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