It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
