I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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