sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
