haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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