Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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