What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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