Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
no, he came in my armpit
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
