how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
