so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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