Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
