I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
