So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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