Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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