I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
