I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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