i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Randomize
