Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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