Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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