i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize