Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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