Say something about gay babies.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
