just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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