it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
