i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
