So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
